Why Do I Keep Sabotaging My Diet?

If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Why do I keep sabotaging my diet?" trust me, you’re not alone.

Most of the women I work with have said some version of this:
“I know exactly what I should be eating… but it feels like something just takes over me.”

Sometimes it’s grabbing food before you even realize it. Other times, you don’t notice how much you’ve eaten until you’re painfully full. And afterward, you’re left wondering: “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just stick to a plan?”

Here’s the truth: the structure of dieting is the problem, not you. You’re not broken, and it’s not about your willpower or self-control.

The Spinning That Keeps You Stuck

What I often see is something I call the spinning.

It’s that internal chaos when you’re around food:

• “I shouldn’t eat this.”

• “But I want it.”

• “Maybe just one bite…”

• “I’ll just start over Monday.”

That mental tug-of-war feels exhausting. But what’s really happening beneath the surface is that your nervous system is brushing up against an emotion that feels too big, or too unsafe, to feel.

And by unsafe, I don't mean dangerous. It has more to do with past conditioning, not the actual emotion itself.

Many of my clients grew up in environments where emotions weren’t welcomed. Maybe if you cried, someone told you to “stop being dramatic.” Or if you were angry, you were punished or sent to your room. Over time, your brain learned: It’s not safe to feel this. 

Fast-forward to today: when that emotion rises, your nervous system protects you by shutting it down quickly. Food just happens to be one of the fastest ways to do that.

The Fighting Layer: The Inner Critic

Then, on top of the spinning, comes the fighting.

That’s the inner critic voice:

• “You have no self-control.”

• “You're bad if you eat this.”

• “Everyone’s judging you.”

It doesn’t just stay in your thoughts, it shows up in your body too: headaches, a tight jaw, tense shoulders, an uneasy stomach (one that we often eat into to make the discomfort go away).

So now you’re not only dealing with the uncomfortable emotion your brain is trying to avoid, you’re also fighting yourself with guilt and shame. No wonder it feels like sabotage.

Why Diets Don’t Work

This is why diets alone don’t work.

Even if you take the food away, the underlying emotion, the grief, anger, loneliness, stress, doesn’t go anywhere. Your nervous system is still running the same pattern.

That’s why so many women can stick to a diet for a few weeks, only to “fall off” and feel like they’ve failed.

But it’s not failure. It’s your survival brain running the show.

You’re Not Sabotaging Yourself

When you ask, “Why do I keep sabotaging my diet?” the answer isn’t because you’re lazy or lack discipline. It’s because your body has learned to protect you in this way.

I spent so many years thinking I was the problem, and that I would always have to put a lot of time and energy into maintaining my weight. I thought I would always feel an internal battle being around foods like chocolate, ice cream, and potato chips. Now I can keep them in the pantry for months. I forget about them!

You are not stuck here forever.

When you learn how to:

• Slow down the spinning

• Soften the fighting voice

• Safely connect with the emotions underneath 

…your nervous system no longer needs food to keep you safe.

That’s when food stops controlling you. That’s when weight loss stops being a battle. And that’s when real, lasting change becomes possible.

The Bottom Line

If you feel like you’re constantly sabotaging your diet, please know:
You’re not broken.
You’re not weak.
You’ve just been chasing the wrong solution.

Healing isn’t about stricter rules or more willpower. It’s about understanding your body’s survival responses, and learning how to create safety so you don’t need food to cope.

And once you do, everything changes: your relationship with food, your energy, your weight, even your pain or the annoying symptoms that come and go.